Breakfast: The Quest for a Good Gluten Free English Muffin

Everyone who goes gluten-free knows the challenge of figuring out what to eat for breakfast. The typical American breakfast consists of gluten, gluten, and more gluten. Like Monty Python's famous Spam sketch – toast, bagels, cereal, oatmeal, muffins, pancakes, scones, and donuts are all, "I'll have some wheat with my wheat, please." Sure, there are eggs (which unfortunately I also have a sensitivity to), and hash browns, and yogurt and fruit, but those all cry out for some sort of bread-like accompaniment. Sometimes you just want to crunch into something, you know?

Lately I've been craving English muffins, so despite the fact that the last time I tried to find a good gf English muffin, it ended in failure, I thought that maybe in the ensuing three years, someone would have come up with a better one.

My local Stop and Stop had three options in the gluten free freezer section, and of those three, I chose the ones that looked the most English muffin-y by Food for Life. They're made with: Organic brown rice flour, filtered water, organic tapioca flour, potato starch, fresh yeast, sea salt, and vegetable gum (xanthan, cellulose). Pretty standard gf ingredients. 

 Maybe the problem was that I didn't let them thaw out in the fridge or on the counter first. I defrosted one the microwave for a minute until it was soft enough to cut through, then I put it in the toaster. After one round in the toaster on med-high, the muffin looked exactly like it had when it came out of the microwave – pale, soft, and doughy – so I put it in for another round.  Three minutes later it was still pale, so I put it in the toaster for a third go-round, this time turning it up to high. Why wasn't this thing toasting?? After the third try, I said the hell with it, I'm just going to eat it, so I pulled it out and buttered it. This was when I noticed it was as hard as if it were still frozen, except it was hot. Uh oh. 

This muffin has been toasted (three times!) and buttered.

We all know that an English muffin is really just a warm crunchy vehicle for whatever we're topping it with, but that vehicle should, if not add to the taste, at least not detract from it. Not so Food for Life Gluten free English muffins. Their consistency I would describe as "dense." Their taste I would describe as not dissimilar to Papier-mâché (which, when I looked it up to check the spelling just now, found translates, appropriately, as "chewed paper"). I would have had more enjoyment putting butter and brie on the plate and licking it off. I made it through the first half of the muffin, realizing immediately it was not going to meet my expectations, but carrying on in the hopes of at least trying to decipher why it was so bad. At first I thought it needed salt, but then I read the ingredients and saw that it has some. Then I thought maybe it was my fault for toasting it too long. But I wanted it to be browned, damn it! Then I gave up and reached for the Sesmark Savory Rice Thins and put the rest of the brie on them.

There are decent gluten free scones available (thank you Whole Foods), there are delicious gf muffins made locally by Raos, but the quest for an edible gf English muffin continues.

Crust-less Portabella Pizzas

This recipe is ridiculously easy. I got the idea when grocery shopping and looking at the packages of portabellas that were on sale and thinking of the sausage that was already in the fridge. My favorite pizza from Antonio's before I went gluten free, was the portabella, fresh mozzarella, and pesto. This recreates that pizza, minus the crust and plus the sausage.

Crust-less Portabella Pizzas 

4-5 large Portabella mushrooms

1-1.5 lb sausage (I used a combo of sweet Italian and hot Italian pork)

¼ C Pesto

½ lb Fresh Mozzarella

Grill the mushrooms and sausage

Put mushrooms top down on greased or non-stick baking sheet

Spread pesto onto mushrooms

Cut sausage into one-inch rounds and place them on mushrooms

Slice mozzarella and place on top of sausage

Put in broiler until cheese melts and starts to brown (approximately five minutes).

You could easily make this vegetarian by eliminating the sausage and adding peppers or vidalia onions.

Fear of Quinoa

Today was a big day. Today I overcame my fear of Quinoa. Quinoa (pronounced keen-wa), is a Peruvian grain from ancient times that's been sort of "rediscovered" and is starting to go upscale. It's one of those things that everyone says you should eat if you're gluten free (or even if you're not), because it's easy to digest and loaded with protein. I've avoided it because I have a vague memory of eating it years ago and not liking it. But last weekend I was at a potluck party and my friend Lauren brought this delicious grain salad, and when I found out it was quinoa, I had to ask for the recipe.

Quinoa is a quirky little grain – it behaves a little bit like couscous – but with a vaguely nutty flavor. Whole Foods says to rinse it well before cooking, use a 4 to 1 water to grain ratio, and cook for 20 minutes. I didn't do any of that because the recipe Lauren gave me said differently and it turned out fine.

Here's her recipe, with my adjustments. She said she found it by Googling, so I apologize for not being able to correctly give credit to its author.

Balsamic Quinoa Salad

½ cup balsamic vinegar (I used a little over ¼ cup)

¼ – ½ cup best quality extra virgin olive oil (I used ¼ cup)

2 T Dijon mustard (I didn't have Dijon so I used deli style)

6 cloves of garlic, minced

2 shallots, minced (I used one)

Salt, pepper and cayenne pepper, to taste (oops, I didn't notice until just now it called for cayenne. Didn't use it.)

1 ½ cups quinoa

Bouillon cube (didn't use this since the recipe doesn't say what to do with it.)

5 Sun Dried Tomatoes (Not in oil.)

1 red pepper, chopped

4 oz blue cheese (I didn't have blue cheese so I used feta.)

1 can black beans

Make dressing by combining vinegar, mustard, garlic, shallots and olive oil. Season to taste.

Add quinoa to three cups of boiling water. Boil for 10 minutes.

Rinse with cool water and place in a fine mesh colander. Boil water and place quinoa and sun dried tomatoes in the colander over the water. Cover with a kitchen towel and lid. Steam for 10 minutes. (I misread this and steamed the quinoa and sundried tomatoes first. [Never make a recipe for the first time while you're talking on the phone.] I realized my mistake after the ten minutes were almost up and just dumped the quinoa and tomatoes into the boiling water for another ten minutes, then rinsed them under cold water. I thought rinsing after cooking would reduce it to mush, but quinoa has a weird sort of dryness to it – the water didn't get absorbed and the texture was fine.)

Allow to cool.

Cook red pepper in a small skillet until tender. (I used fresh red pepper and didn't sauté it at all. It added a really great crunch to the salad.)

Combine pepper and remaining ingredients with quinoa. Add dressing and toss. Enjoy!

This recipe is pretty much idiot proof. Even though I messed up the cooking process and used different ingredients, it was delicious. All four family members liked it, including my vegetarian teenage daughter who proclaimed it her "new favorite dish." That's high praise indeed.

I served it with potato leek soup and a green salad. Yum.

One of Those People

When I was told I had a gluten allergy, my first thought was, "Oh no! I don't want to be one of those people." You know, the people who you overhear in restaurants, grilling the wait staff about every last ingredient; those sad, deprived people who can't eat pasta or bread or croissants or cake? I had already given up coffee in the interests of my digestive health and even after five years that continued to be a daily struggle, so I could only imagine how wretched not eating my favorite baked goods would make me feel. But after spending my entire life assuming my digestive system just didn't work right, and after being (mis)diagnosed with ailments like an ulcer and pancreatitis, I figured I would give it two weeks and see how it went.

Imagine my surprise when, after only three days, I started to feel better. My stomach pains diminished, the gas, bloating, and cramping went away, and after two weeks I felt better than I had in years. Guess I was going gluten free. But what did that mean, exactly? I knew anything with wheat in it was off limits, but I was surprised to learn that oatmeal contains gluten (oatmeal! ) as does beer. (Nooooooo!)

Thus began the slow process of redesigning my diet. I'm lucky to live in an area with a Whole Foods and a Trader Joe's and a few awesome co-ops that all have a great selection of gluten free products. It's been two and a half years since my last scone (still searching for a good one – scones have become my gluten free holy grail) and I've learned enough that friends have started asking my advice. So even though there are scads of food blogs, including some excellent gluten free ones, I'm tossing my laptop into the ring and starting Gluten Free Pioneer Valley, specifically for people who live here in beautiful western Massachusetts to connect and share ideas.

I'll be writing about restaurants and recipes, places to shop, and how to survive as the lone gluten free member in your family. There's no need to feel deprived – there's a whole world of deliciousness beyond wheat, and it's easier than you think to make it work.